une âme charitable pourrait elle me dire si il y a des erreurs ou si une formulation laisse à désirer?

I am going to tell you about a story which is about a special man
he has an armor
than a diamond
best armor in the world
at the age of 7 (pas besoin de mettre years derrière)
has been replaced
going to destroy
he decided to exterminate all the human beings
in the army
he took the control of
except
one little thing
immortal